Read I want to be skinny (Part 1) here.
Why would anyone want to live like this?
Most anorexic people go from being healthy to dangerously underweight, from happy and content, to distraught and depressed- and although they do not feel themselves spiralling out of control, they are probably aware of what they are heading for. We can go on and on talking about Anorexia, and anorexic behaviours and thoughts, but I’ve found when speaking about this to others, even sufferers of Anorexia the question “Why would you want to live like this?” often pops up, and truth be told – there has not been one rational answer given. It’s the usual “I just want to be skinny”, “When I reach my goal weight, I’ll be happy”, “I need to be perfect” – but when I’ve asked the question, “When will it stop?”, sufferers have gone quiet, as truthfully they know that it won’t. In reality, you think that you won’t ever reach that goal weight, you won’t ever be skinny and you won’t ever be perfect, because you think you have too many faults, too many flaws and you hate yourself. Have you ever stopped, cleared your mind and really asked yourself “What is there to hate?” Yes, sure, you’ll come up with 101 things to hate, but for once, just once, find one tiny little thing you love about yourself, whether it’s your voice, your eyes, your ankles, to your ears – it’s 1 thing out of 101 things that you love, or even like. That’s the one thing that Ana cannot take away from you, and that’s where it all begins.
It’s all about taking it easy. One little step at a time, all it is, is just regaining control over yourself, and thinking rationally and most importantly positively. Positivity is not an alien! You have to remember, you are not a slave of your negativity, you are not a passive recipient of behaviours around you, and remember that those people in the media? They don’t even look like themselves, so how can you expect yourself to become unrealistic and unachievable? How can you hate your beautiful soul so much to destroy it with ambitions that are unhealthy and irrational? Why tarnish your innocent body with the scars of starvation, and why teach your sane mind unnatural habits? Is this a game? It’s time to win. It’s time to accept that the disorder you have is not good for you, and it is not the way of life. A recovered anorexic sister once said to me:
“I realised there is more to life than just numbers and worrying about what I look like. The first step to getting better was me realising that.”
So stop yourself from stopping yourself to get on the road to success and recovery, the first step is always the hardest and your first step is to accept what you have, and work to wanting to get better. You have to accept that Anorexia is a slow suicide, and the destruction of one’s health in Islam is a no go area. You have been given a trust from Allah to look after yourself; He did not create you to destroy yourself when you have the means to be healthy and happy. We will be held accountable and questioned for how we responded to the good blessings of health that have been bestowed upon us. Let’s break this down:
“And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.”
How do we worship Allah? Through salah, fasting and good deeds, there is worshipping Allah in everything we do. To worship properly we need to be healthy and energised – you can imagine how difficult it must be to do Salah with hunger pains and dizziness right? You can imagine how draining it must be to even be active in the community when you’re tired all the time, so is Anorexia really helping you fulfil your purpose in life? Or is it just keeping you from doing so whole heartedly?
“O you, who have believed, eat from the good things which We have provided for you “
“That you not transgress within the balance.”
Various texts and verses of the Quran promote a healthy and balanced diet including moderate amounts of food, and eating wholesome food which is halal and pure. Meaning, nobody is asking you to eat and be overweight, but neither is anybody telling you to starve yourself to nothing, as this is not the “moderate” that is meant in the Quran and the Sunnah. Remember, we have been given a guideline, an instruction manual, a model of our own to look up to and strive to be like. Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) said:
“The believer must fill his stomach with one third water, one third air and one third food”
Food is a bounty and blessing from Allah, and in many hadiths the Prophet (SAWS) has mentioned many foods which are good for health, and exercising is encouraged, it’s not just for men. Women have to be fit and healthy too, so unlike the west where there are only 2 extremes, ‘super-size vs super skinny’, Islam provided us with a middle ground way back, an area which is safe, simple and healthy. There is no need for irrational thoughts and sickening behaviours, because Islam gives us the balance that is needed to just live. Yes, live, not to just be alive, but to live our lives to its fullest – with all the bounties that Allah has bestowed upon us.
“So which of the favours of your Lord would you deny?”
I may not know…
I may not know who you are, or what you look like, or what you’ve been through, but the fact you are reading this, is the Will of Allah. You should understand that you should take something away from this, realise what you’re experiencing – and that it is okay. At Inspirited Minds, we’re not here to judge you, or tell you that you’re a failure for not losing that extra pound, we’re not Ana, and neither are you. I’m here to tell you that you are stronger than this, and you can and you will do this. Cry and scream if you have to, but it will be okay and we won’t give up on you, we won’t let you give up on yourself, and most importantly, Allah has not given up on you. Remember you are a believer; you are a servant of Allah, not a slave of Ana! You obey Allah; He only wants what is good for you, but listening to Ana? Think about where that will get you in this life and the next. Just think, think clear, think positive, and think strong. We’re here for you, when you think that nobody else is there, we, are, here. So let’s do this together. Muhammad (SAWS) said:
“…Your body has a right over you…”