I’ve reached a point where I’m doubting Allah’s existence and question my existence, I even think now that I’m the only person who is conscious while everyone else isn’t. It’s all hard on me, however I still fear doing haram things because of my fear of God.
It doesn’t seem to be getting any better, I try to pray the 5 prayers every day, I usually miss one or two of them.I just can’t get the thoughts out of my head, I try to contradict these thoughts by arguing against it but the thoughts don’t leave my head. I see stories of people leaving Islam and becoming Christians , atheists, etc… I fear that I will convert from this deen to those religions and lose all my deeds and go to hellfire, but I cant get these thoughts out, I considered suicide many times in my life, but al-hamdullilah for the Quran and Allah, the mere thought that I will go to hell if I commit suicide prevents me from doing it.
I just need someone to talk to properly for hours with and help me with my faith. I don’t know if I should resort to any medications, like ruqya or antidepressants.
As-Salaamun ‘Alaikum – peace be with you,
Thank you for reaching out to us. We know that it isn’t easy and we appreciate the confidence you have placed in us. May you be rewarded, Ameen.
Doubts about faith are very common to experience. However, if they dominate our thoughts constantly then they can begin to disrupt our lives and cause excessive distress and uncertainty. Suppressing unwanted thoughts often proves counter-productive and actually makes these thoughts more stubborn because we are paying so much attention to them.
Rather than seeking to repress or escape these thoughts, try to address them and finds ways to cope with their distressing nature. Keep Imaan (faith) and taqwa (consciousness of Allah (SWT)) ever present in your heart, and use these to ease the doubts and stay hopeful.
“O humanity! Indeed, there has come to you a warning from your Lord, a cure for what is in the hearts, a guide, and a mercy for the believers.” [Qur’an 10:57]
It is natural for the human mind to feel anxious, defensive or scared when presented with information contrary to its beliefs. Instead of focusing on your doubts or consuming information that perpetuates them, you can view this as the beginning of a quest to seek knowledge.
Ilm (knowledge) has traditionally been at the heart of the Muslim tradition and faith and each of us is enjoined to seek knowledge.
“Read! In the name of your Lord Who created…” [Qur’an 96:1]
The Qur’an itself is at the heart of this as it addresses the entire human being and our psyche, and strengthens the certainty in our heart by satisfying the spiritual, intellectual and emotional aspects of the self. Regular recitation with meaning can serve as a constant reminder of the Haqq (Truth), protecting us from forgetting or doubting the reality of your existence.
Using relaxation techniques has been known to held deal with the presence of these negative thoughts, such as:
- Taking a break. You might choose to recite the beautiful names of Allah and this will strengthen your relationship with Him
- Reciting the Qur’an. The Qur’an is nourishment to the soul and guidance to the straight path. Listening to recitations of the Qur’an can also connect you with your emotions and distract you from your thoughts
“Indeed, this Qur’an guides to that which is most suitable.” [Qur’an 17:9]
- Go out for walk and in engage in regular physical exercise
- Get creative. Try painting, drawing, making crafts, baking or sewing
There is great importance in balancing our spiritual, mental and physical well-being. As you identified, perhaps you just need to vocalise and share your experiences with someone. This could be a close family member or friend whom you trust and feel understood by or a counsellor who can give you more professional advice.
Please never feel alone or despair, and if you are feeling vulnerable please call any of the following for support :
- Here at Inspirited Minds, we offer faith-based counselling and support services, through which you can speak to a qualified member of staff
- Alternatively, you can get in contact with your GP to discuss your mental health
- The Muslim Youth Helpline is also available to access urgent help and support
“Verily, the faith of one of you will wear out within him, just as a shirt becomes worn out, so ask Allah to renew faith in your hearts.” [Mustadrak Al-Hakim]
Although this life is full of tests and trials, its important to remember that it is a sacred gift from Allah (SWT), so cherish it and seek to make it beautiful.
Moreover, there are reliable academic sources of Islamic information. Here are some useful resources to perhaps get you started researching on relevant topics if you are interested:
There is always someone to listen, Allah (SWT) is always with You and trust that He will create a means of relief and help.
“For verily with hardship there is ease. Verily with hardship, there is ease” [Qur’an 94:6].
These are just some humble suggestions. We sincerely hope and pray that one or more of them will be suitable to your circumstances and will be a means of ease for you, In Shaa Allah (if Allah wills). If you would like to discuss anything else on your mind, we also offer more personalized counselling here at Inspirited Minds.
Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you need any further support.
Allah knows best and we hope this helps In Shaa Allah (if Allah wills).
Du’aa (supplication) always,
IM Support Team
Ask Inspirited Minds is a safe, anonymous and confidential space for you to ask specific questions or seek advice around your mental health and wellbeing. We will publish your question and our response on our website but will make sure to make it anonymous and change any identifiable details. If you are going through these problems, then it’s highly likely someone else is going through something similar and we hope our advice can also be of help to others in a similar situation.
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